From the Orifice Of The Playpen

 
SNOW GLORIOUS SNOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You got it folks finally after being in this country for almost 2 years we got snow. I hate to say it but all I wanted to do at work today was go outside and play in the white stuff. But the bosses wouldn’t let me.

People were coming in and panic buying because of fear of being snowed in. They don’t get much snow in this part of the UK so when it gets deeper than an inch or two they get concerned.

At four o’clock someone asked if I had booked a taxi for after work and I said no. Then she told me there was a two hour wait for taxi’s so me being me, tried to call from that point on. Could I get through to any of the taxi companies? NOOOOO --- It seems they had all closed down because there were too many accidents all over town.

Yep it made me feel right at home lol. Ok call me nuts if you must but I really do like snow and I really do miss the snow we used to get back in Cincinnati. You know the knee deep stuff that made your feet feel as if they would freeze off before the heat kicked on in the car or before you managed to walk to whatever destination you were trying to get to.

I called mummy-in-law (who had just got in around 4:45 after having left work around 3:10 or so) to tell her of my dilemma so she and her partner (he drives she doesn’t) braved the nasty mess on the road (meaning the heavily congested traffic) and came down to work to pick me up and bring me safely home.

If my feet weren’t so cold at the moment I think I would go out and make a snow angel or two so that when Paul gets in he would know I had been out there playing.

Instead I think I am going to head up for a hot bath then come down and open the curtains covering the sliding glass doors and sip a cup of hot chocolate and wonder how much more we might get before morning.

.....Well folks that’s my part of this month’s article. I am sure Paul will have some to add to it lol.

Well she’s not far wrong. From the winter wonderland that enveloped the UK this week to something I scribbled at work. It may seem a little disjointed… but then again so am I.

Is it really any wonder the world is messed up?
You see this past month in the UK we have had a bit of a scandal involving a talk show host who also wrote an article in one of the broadsheet wannabe papers exclaiming that the Arab world was a bunch of limb removing women hating bombers. Read what the BBC had to say about this here Now, don’t get me wrong, what Kilroy Silk did was immensely stupid. He went out in the public bashing the world’s bad guys and made a bad job of it. What makes this even more bizarre is that this article was published 9 months ago by the same paper and NOTHING was muttered about it. Double standards or what?

To put the record straight... I agree with him… well what do you expect... that’s all we ever hear in the press these days. Suicide Bombers, Women being lashed for thinking in the wrong section of the city.

When was the last time we saw something good come from the Arab world?

I mean when was the last time we saw anything that the Arab world did for themselves that didn’t involve death destruction or world disaster.

I don’t know where to begin on my solution.

Here are a few ideas.

Let’s build the ARAB WALL. It worked in Berlin for 30 years. I honestly believe if we fence them in for 30 years and let them get on with it, they will work it all out. Let’s see if they can handle all that surplus Oil that we will no longer be buying – Alaska has enough for the rest of us.

Let’s withdraw all aid and support from areas that still insist on bombing shooting and otherwise endangering the people who are there to help them… Let them shoot each other and see how that feels for a while. Some say that a tactical withdrawal from affected areas will make our leaders look weak…. HEY MORON – We have a President of the USA who cannot say the word Nuclear and a Prime Minister of the UK who quite frankly cannot wait to see the back of this whole Arab issue so he can get back to smiling a lot and not ageing at an incredible rate. If saving the lives of a handful of our soldiers and peacekeepers means less to these Muppets then hell they don’t deserve to be in power and we need to elect the cast of Sesame Street to run these countries until rational thought and sane behaviour can be reintroduced into politics.

Give the whole world a Coke tell ‘em to smile and shut the Fuck up – Well at least get em to sing along to I’d Like to Teach the World to sing…? No OK maybe that idea is straining the bounds of reality a little too far. But why does the solution to the worlds problems have to involve big bombs and thousands and thousands of lives being lost.
Do the war-mongers and hate spreaders have to shoot to kill?

Maybe I am being too simple in seeing this problem NOT being a problem?
Maybe I hate myself for what the war did to me? I sat in front of the TV waiting for SHOCK AND AWE to begin and every time a sand bug or light switched on I got all excited and I began dreaming in night vision. It wasn’t funny, I ended up on Prozac because Bush played with my head. When SHOCK AND AWE actually began I was so hyped up it became a race to see if the temple on the left hand side of the screen or my head would explode first. In the end neither exploded and I stopped watching the coverage. I stopped reading newspapers and I started to become more cynical with what I believed the news people were saying.

This leads me back to the question.

What have the Arab world done for us lately?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

Ok I am off my little political soapbox now. Of too perfect my Democratic scream somewhere quiet... ohh I dunno maybe the Sikh Temple next to Mr Kilroy Silks place.

Until next time keep your cuffs on the bedpost and your eye on the door.

Linda and Paul

I was born Linda Sue DeZarn to a couple with four other living children. Our family was poor as far as money went but we were rich because we had love and each other. I am now 47, mother of two daughter's and proud grandmother of six beautiful grandmonsters; the four oldest being boys and the babies are both girls (took long enuff for the girls to show their pretty faces).

I met Paul Hurwood (aka miskin) online in Excite's Virtual Places (where I also met Cait) in a chat room called Ninian's Poetry Cafe. Had it not been for some of the people in that room I would not be here today. I have led a long hard life most of which can be read in my writings.

 
Linda's Poetry Pages

• Dedicated to the man of my dreams

by Miskin for Linda
• Stronger Than Steel
• In Honour

Linda

Hi there folks. My name is Paul, and I have vital statistics that resemble the national debt of several third world countries combined. As you probably know Linda is my wife and you know the story so I won’t bore you all with it again.
In the words of Joshua one of the grand monsters “I AM A FREAK” and pretty much proud of it too.
I will try pretty much anything once and if I like it or it’s bad for me I will probably try it a couple more times just to make sure. I don’t like to take things to seriously, life is way too short.
Art wise I pretty much like anything that pushes the boundaries of either taste or experimental. My main passion is Old Time Radio, it helps to stimulate the brain and gets you thinking again.

I do occasionally write poetry but I am not a perfectionist. I write what comes into my mind and just see what happens. I think that this the honest way of writing. If it doesn’t make sense it's no biggie as far as I am concerned.
My influences come from all over the place… I get moods from Pink Floyd or whatever is playing on my cd player at the time and the Goons… a wonderfully anarchic mix of surrealism and comedy… if you get the chance try them out.

In closing I want to tell you my motto in life. It’s really simple and when things go wrong and you’re not sure what to do….

FUCK IT

The translation is down to you.

Keep your eyes on the door and the cuffs on the bedpost

Paul